When someone hits you with the classic “You owe me,” it can feel like they’re keeping a tab you didn’t even know existed. Whether they’re joking or serious, you’ve got to be prepared to fire back with something clever.
Lucky for you, we’ve compiled a list of hilarious comebacks that will have you dodging the debt and keeping things light. Get ready to take the pressure off with these funny responses!
Here are witty responses to keep in your back pocket!
Top List Of Funny Responses to “You Owe Me”
- “I owe you a high-five, but it might be delayed.”
- “Add it to my tab… of hugs.”
- “I’m good for it… in Monopoly money.”
- “I’ll repay you in compliments. You’re awesome!”
- “I’ll get you back in 3024.”
- “Oh, didn’t I pay you in smiles already?”
- “I thought we were square after I let you steal my fries!”
- “I’ll get you a free ride… in my imagination.”
- “You’re on my list… right under laundry and groceries.”
- “I’ll owe you my undying gratitude. Does that count?”
- “Let me check with my accountant… my dog.”
- “I’ll repay you… in sarcasm.”
- “How about I owe you a joke instead?”
- “I’ll pay you in interest… by texting you memes.”
- “I’m sorry, I only deal in chocolate.”
- “You mean emotionally, right? I owe you my sanity.”
- “Sure, but can I pay you in Monopoly property?”
- “Let me consult my magic eight-ball.”
- “I’ll pay you in dance moves. Prepare yourself.”
- “I owe you? I think you’re mistaken; you owe me…a laugh!”
- “I’ll pay you back in Monopoly jail.”
- “You’ll get it when pigs fly… or when I win the lottery.”
- “I owe you a solid… as in, I’ll be solidly ignoring that.”
- “How about we settle this with rock-paper-scissors?”
- “You owe me for making you laugh so hard with this response.”
1. “I owe you a high-five, but it might be delayed.”
This playful response lets you agree, but you’re keeping things low-stakes.
Examples:
- “I owe you a high-five, but it’s stuck in the mail!”
- “I’ll pay that high-five debt when I get my energy back!”
- “Catch me later, and I’ll deliver that high-five… someday.”
2. “Add it to my tab… of hugs.”
Who can resist hugs? You’ll stay out of financial trouble while spreading some warmth.
Examples:
- “You know my hug balance is always positive!”
- “I’ll give you one now, and double it next time.”
- “I think I owe you about a dozen hugs by now.”
3. “I’m good for it… in Monopoly money.”
By offering fake currency, you dodge real debt while staying funny.
Examples:
- “Got plenty of Monopoly cash if you want to cash in!”
- “Will $500 Monopoly dollars cover it?”
- “I can only offer Boardwalk as collateral, deal?”
4. “I’ll repay you in compliments. You’re awesome!”
Turn the debt into a praise fest with this feel-good reply.
Examples:
- “I owe you? Nah, you owe yourself some compliments. Look at you, killing it!”
- “Here’s one compliment: You’ve got the best timing!”
- “Let me repay you by telling you that you’re a genius!”
5. “I’ll get you back in 3024.”
Kicking the repayment date centuries into the future shows you’re not taking it seriously.
Examples:
- “I’ll pencil you in for 3024; it’s a busy year!”
- “Promise I’ll pay you back once we’ve colonized Mars.”
- “Time travel isn’t invented yet, but I’ll owe you until then.”
6. “Oh, didn’t I pay you in smiles already?”
A cheeky grin makes this debt vanish in an instant.
Examples:
- “I’m pretty sure my smile covers it!”
- “You can’t put a price on this grin!”
- “I paid you in smiles last week, but I’ll add interest!”
7. “What? I thought we were square after I let you steal my fries!”
Here’s a way to remind them of past generosity—real or imagined.
Examples:
- “Remember those fries? That was my repayment!”
- “Oh, I see you forgot the French fry incident of last week.”
- “Those fries cost me emotionally, so we’re even!”
8. “I owe you? How about I get you a free ride… in my imagination?”
Offer a ride that doesn’t exist—just like the debt!
Examples:
- “Hop in the imaginary car, we’ll ride to ‘Forget-About-It’ town.”
- “My mind’s car has leather seats, enjoy the ride!”
- “I’ll even let you pick the imaginary music.”
9. “You’re on my list… right under laundry and groceries.”
Make a joke about your never-ending to-do list.
Examples:
- “You’re right after laundry. I’ll get to you in a few years!”
- “I’ll cross off ‘owe you’ after ‘clean out the fridge.’”
- “You’re sandwiched between ‘nap’ and ‘procrastinate more.’”
10. “I’ll owe you my undying gratitude. Does that count?”
Turn your gratitude into the ultimate repayment.
Examples:
- “I’m filled with gratitude—and that’s priceless!”
- “You can’t buy anything with gratitude, but hey, it’s eternal.”
- “I’ll owe you one giant thank-you forever!”
11. “Let me check with my accountant… my dog.”
Blame your furry friend for any financial troubles.
Examples:
- “Fido says I’m all tapped out!”
- “My accountant’s busy chasing his tail, so maybe next time!”
- “I’ll have to ask my dog if we’re clear on this debt.”
12. “I’ll repay you… in sarcasm.”
If they love wit, this will repay them in laughs.
Examples:
- “I owe you? Sure, as soon as I win the lottery. Totally.”
- “I’ll repay you in sarcasm. Does that work? Not.”
- “Oh yeah, let me just pull out my sarcasm bank.”
13. “How about I owe you a joke instead?”
Everyone loves a good joke, right?
Examples:
- “What do you call a debt that doesn’t get repaid? This one!”
- “Why don’t we settle this with a pun-off?”
- “Okay, okay—knock knock! Guess who’s not paying?”
14. “I’ll pay you in interest… by texting you memes.”
Memes for the win—everyone loves them, and they cost nothing.
Examples:
- “I’ll send you a meme a day for a week. Deal?”
- “How about a lifetime subscription to daily memes?”
- “Trust me, the memes will make you forget the debt.”
15. “I’m sorry, I only deal in chocolate.”
Offer something sweet instead—if they say yes, win-win!
Examples:
- “One chocolate bar should clear my debt, right?”
- “I’ll get you some chocolate, and we’ll call it even.”
- “Chocolate is legal tender, isn’t it?”
16. “You mean emotionally, right? I owe you my sanity.”
Shift the conversation to emotional debts and laugh it off.
Examples:
- “I think I owe you some emotional support—good luck with that!”
- “You already have all my sanity, what more could I give?”
- “Oh, you meant financially? Oops, my bad.”
17. “Sure, but can I pay you in Monopoly property?”
Another Monopoly-themed response, because who doesn’t love board game references?
Examples:
- “I’ll trade you Park Place for my debt.”
- “Baltic Avenue is all yours. That covers it, right?”
- “Want a railroad? I hear they’re good investments.”
18. “Let me consult my magic eight-ball.”
Put the decision in the hands of fate—or your trusty eight-ball.
Examples:
- “Magic eight-ball says, ‘Ask again later.’”
- “The eight-ball’s cloudy on this one… looks like no payment today.”
- “I’ll shake the eight-ball, but I think it’s stuck on ‘no.’”
19. “I’ll pay you in dance moves. Prepare yourself.”
This one’s all about distracting them with your epic moves.
Examples:
- “How about a moonwalk for every dollar?”
- “I’ll hit you with the robot dance, that should cover it!”
- “My dance moves are priceless, so we’re more than even.”
20. “I owe you? I think you’re mistaken; you owe me…a laugh!”
Flip the script and make them prove you owe them.
Examples:
- “I’ll consider repaying you after you make me laugh!”
- “Oh, I see you’re confused. You owe me a joke first.”
- “Tell you what—make me laugh, and we’re even.”
21. “I’ll pay you back in Monopoly jail.”
Lock this debt up where it can’t be paid.
Examples:
- “Looks like I’m stuck in Monopoly jail—guess we’re even!”
- “I rolled doubles, so I’m free now, but that doesn’t mean I owe you!”
- “I’ll send the Monopoly thimble to serve my time for me.”
22. “You’ll get it when pigs fly… or when I win the lottery.”
Make this debt as unlikely to pay off as flying pigs.
Examples:
- “I think I saw a pig with wings last week, so soon!”
- “I’ll get to it after I win the lottery… shouldn’t be too long.”
- “Let me know when pigs fly, and I’ll send the check.”
23. “I owe you a solid… as in, I’ll be solidly ignoring that.”
Let them know their debt just got ghosted.
Examples:
- “I’m solidly pretending you didn’t say that!”
- “You owe me some quiet time, so let’s call it even.”
- “I’m solidly over this conversation.”
24. “How about we settle this with rock-paper-scissors?”
Duel it out in a game, no real money is involved!
Examples:
- “Best two out of three, winner gets their debt erased!”
- “Rock-paper-scissors settles everything. Let’s go!”
- “If I win, you drop the debt. If you win, I’ll… think about it.”
25. “You owe me for making you laugh so hard with this response.”
Turn the tables by making your own new debt.
Examples:
- “You laughed? Well, now you owe me!”
- “That laugh clears my debt!”
- “You’re welcome for that joke—debt repaid!”
Conclusion
When someone pulls out the “You owe me” card, these funny responses will keep you in the clear with humour and charm. Whether you’re dishing out sarcasm or dodging Monopoly money, these replies are perfect for keeping things light-hearted. So next time someone asks for what’s “owed,” you’ll be ready to turn the tables and get them laughing!
𝐈’𝐦 Ella Rose 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 “𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 ” 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐨𝐫. 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬. 𝐈 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐮𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞. 𝐀𝐭 “𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬” 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬. 𝐃𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐝𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐨𝐫.
Olivia Bloom 
Celia Anne