22 Funny Responses to 'Does Size Matter?'

When someone throws the classic “Does size matter?” question your way, it’s the perfect opportunity to flex your wit and humor.

Whether the inquiry is meant to be flirty, playful, or downright silly, a funny response can keep the conversation light and entertaining.

Below are 22 witty comebacks that’ll have everyone laughing—because, let’s face it, sometimes it’s not about the size, but how you handle the question!

Top List Of Funny Responses to ‘Does Size Matter?’

Only if we’re talking about pizza.
It’s not the size, it’s the delivery.
Depends on the size of your wallet.
Only when I’m shopping for shoes.
Bigger isn’t always better—just look at smartphones!
It’s all about how you use it.
Depends on the occasion—like a party or a date.
Size only matters when we’re measuring egos.
As long as it fits in the overhead bin, we’re good.
Only when I’m talking about dessert portions.
Depends—are we talking about Netflix marathons?
Only when it comes to coffee cups.
In Tetris, yes.
Only when it’s about nachos.
Just ask a cat—boxes are the real test.
It’s not about size, it’s about frequency.
When it comes to closets, definitely.
In roller coasters, the bigger, the better!
For pancakes, absolutely.
Only when it’s about winning jackpots.
Depends on the size of your patience.
Bigger isn’t better—unless we’re talking pillows.

1. Only if we’re talking about pizza.

When someone asks if size matters, bring up everyone’s favorite topic: pizza. After all, who doesn’t love a large pizza?

Examples:

“A large pizza feeds my soul, so yes, size does matter!”
“Only when I’m ordering a family-sized pizza.”
“Extra-large pizza? That’s the only size that matters.”

2. It’s not the size, it’s the delivery.

Turn the conversation toward the art of presentation. This response keeps things light and clever.

Examples:

“It’s all about how you deliver that joke.”
“Presentation is key—like with sushi rolls.”
“Even small packages can deliver big surprises!”

3. Depends on the size of your wallet.

Money can make or break a lot of things, so why not make it the focus of your comeback?

Examples:

“Size only matters when we’re talking bank accounts.”
“How big is your wallet? That’s the real question.”
“A big wallet can make anything look good.”

4. Only when I’m shopping for shoes.

For shoe lovers, this one’s a no-brainer. After all, shoe size can be a dealbreaker.

Examples:

“Finding the perfect pair? Then yes, size matters.”
“Only if we’re talking about finding the right heels.”
“When shoe shopping, it’s all about the size.”

5. Bigger isn’t always better—just look at smartphones!

With phones getting bigger, yet sometimes less practical, this response hits home.

Examples:

“My pocket says otherwise when I try to fit my giant phone.”
“Tiny phones used to be all the rage, remember?”
“Big phones, big problems—no thanks!”

6. It’s all about how you use it.

This classic line is perfect for keeping things cheeky and light-hearted.

Examples:

“A small tool can do a big job.”
“It’s not the size, it’s the finesse.”
“Skill beats size any day.”

7. Depends on the occasion—like a party or a date.

Sometimes, context is everything. This response works well for any situation.

Examples:

“For a party? Bigger is better!”
“On a date? Quality over quantity.”
“Depends—what kind of event are we talking about?”

8. Size only matters when we’re measuring egos.

This response flips the script, making it more about attitude than anything else.

Examples:

“Some egos are just too big to handle.”
“Keep your ego in check, and size won’t matter.”
“Big egos are a turn-off, just saying.”

9. As long as it fits in the overhead bin, we’re good.

Travelers will appreciate this practical (and funny) response.

Examples:

“Carry-on only—size matters there!”
“Overhead bins have the final say.”
“If it’s too big to carry on, it’s too big for me.”

10. Only when I’m talking about dessert portions.

Dessert lovers know that size truly matters when it comes to sweet treats.

Examples:

“Bigger desserts are always better!”
“Who says no to an extra-large slice of cake?”
“When it’s dessert, give me the biggest slice.”

11. Depends—are we talking about Netflix marathons?

This response is for the binge-watchers out there who know the importance of screen size.

Examples:

“Big screen for a big binge session, yes please!”
“Smaller screens just don’t do justice to a Netflix marathon.”
“When watching shows, bigger screens win.”

12. Only when it comes to coffee cups.

Coffee lovers will agree that when it comes to caffeine, size really does matter.

Examples:

“A big cup of coffee is a must!”
“Give me the biggest cup you’ve got.”
“More coffee? Yes, size matters!”

13. In Tetris, yes.

For gamers, Tetris is the perfect reference for why size matters.

Examples:

“A long piece in Tetris? That’s the key to winning!”
“In Tetris, size can make or break the game.”
“Tetris teaches us that size does matter.”

14. Only when it’s about nachos.

When nachos are involved, the more, the merrier. This response is perfect for snack lovers.

Examples:

“Pile those nachos high—size matters here!”
“More toppings? Yes, please.”
“When it comes to nachos, bigger is better.”

15. Just ask a cat—boxes are the real test.

Cat owners will get a kick out of this one, knowing how much cats love fitting into boxes.

Examples:

“For cats, it’s all about the box, no matter the size.”
“Cats can fit into any box, so who cares about size?”
“Size matters only if the box is too small for the cat.”

16. It’s not about size, it’s about frequency.

Sometimes, it’s how often you do something that counts more than its size.

Examples:

“Frequent small doses are better than one big one.”
“It’s all about how often, not how big.”
“Small but frequent wins the race.”

17. When it comes to closets, definitely.

For fashionistas, closet space is essential, making this response spot on.

Examples:

“A bigger closet means more room for outfits.”
“Size matters when we’re talking about closet space.”
“More space equals more fashion!”

18. In roller coasters, the bigger, the better!

Adrenaline junkies know that the thrill is in the size of the ride.

Examples:

“Bigger roller coasters give a bigger thrill!”
“The taller the ride, the better the rush.”
“In roller coasters, size absolutely matters.”

19. For pancakes, absolutely.

Breakfast fans will agree that when it comes to pancakes, size does matter.

Examples:

“Bigger pancakes? Sign me up!”
“The more pancakes, the better the breakfast.”
“Give me a stack that’s bigger than my head!”

20. Only when it’s about winning jackpots.

For the gamblers out there, this response is both funny and true.

Examples:

“Size matters when the jackpot is huge!”
“Bigger jackpots mean bigger winnings.”
“In gambling, bigger is definitely better.”

21. Depends on the size of your patience.

Patience is a virtue, and sometimes, size does matter.

Examples:

“Bigger patience means bigger rewards.”
“The more patience you have, the better.”
“Size matters when waiting for something good.”

22. Bigger isn’t better—unless we’re talking pillows.

Comfort is key, and bigger pillows mean better sleep.

Examples:

“Give me a big pillow for a good night’s sleep.”
“The bigger the pillow, the better the comfort.”
“In pillows, size absolutely matters.”

Conclusion

When faced with the age-old question, “Does size matter?” you’ve got a whole arsenal of witty responses at your disposal.

Whether you’re in the mood for some humor or a clever comeback, these replies will keep the conversation lively and fun. After all, in most cases, it’s not about the size, but how you respond!

Gracie Mae

𝐈’𝐦 Gracie Mae 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 “𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 ” 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐨𝐫. 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬. 𝐈 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐮𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞. 𝐀𝐭 “𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬” 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬. 𝐃𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐝𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐨𝐫.

22 Funny Responses to ‘Does Size Matter?’