Dealing with a petty person can feel like stepping into a minefield—one wrong move, and they’re off on a tangent about how you looked at them the wrong way or why they think you don’t like their new haircut. Instead of getting caught up in their drama, it’s often best to respond with wit or let them know their behaviour is getting old. Here’s a list of clever and sassy responses to help you navigate conversations with petty people while keeping cool.
Top List Of Things to Say to a Petty Person
- “Wow, that’s a lot of energy to waste.”
- “I didn’t realize we competed.”
- “How do you find time for this?”
- “Can you hear yourself right now?”
- “That’s cute. What else you got?”
- “Is that worth your time?”
- “Let’s save this drama for your next role.”
- “You really should consider yoga.”
- “You’ve got a PhD in pettiness!”
- “I’d call it a ‘you’ problem.”
- “I thought we were over this.”
- “Keep talking; I’m taking notes.”
- “Is this your way of asking for attention?”
- “You must love this drama.”
- “Can you take it down a notch?”
- “Do you ever stop to think?”
- “I think we should just agree to disagree.”
- “You should try meditating.”
- “You should write a book about this.”
1. “Wow, that’s a lot of energy to waste.”
This response subtly highlights how much effort the petty person is putting into their grievances. It’s a light way of pointing out that they could use that energy on something more productive.
- Examples:
- “Did you just spend an hour complaining about a missed lunch? Wow, that’s a lot of energy to waste.”
- “It’s impressive how much you care about that drama. It must take a lot of energy to keep that up!”
- “I didn’t realize this was a full-time job for you! Wow, that’s a lot of energy to waste.”
2. “I didn’t realize we competed.”
By framing their behaviour as competitive, this response undermines the petty nature of their complaints and challenges them to reconsider their focus.
- Examples:
- “Oh, I didn’t realize we competed for the most ridiculous argument!”
- “I’m not here for the trophy, but if we’re competing, I’m going to need more than that.”
- “Is there a prize for this? Because I didn’t realize we competed.”
3. “How do you find time for this?”
This playful question puts the focus back on the petty person’s time management skills, suggesting they could be using their time for better pursuits.
- Examples:
- “I’m genuinely curious—how do you find time for this? I barely keep up with my own life.”
- “You must have some extra time on your hands to focus on such minor issues. How do you find time for this?”
- “With all this fuss, how do you find time to do anything else? It must be exhausting!”
4. “Can you hear yourself right now?”
By prompting them to reflect on their own words, this response encourages the petty person to realize how trivial their complaints sound.
- Examples:
- “Wait, can you hear yourself right now? It’s like a comedy show!”
- “Can you hear yourself? Because this sounds like a soap opera.”
- “Are you aware of how ridiculous this sounds? Can you hear yourself right now?”
5. “That’s cute. What else you got?”
This sarcastic comment downplays their issue and challenges them to come up with something more substantial to complain about.
- Examples:
- “Oh, that’s cute! What else you got? I need some entertainment.”
- “That’s adorable! Do you have anything else in your arsenal?”
- “That’s cute, but can we level up the drama? What else you got?”
6. “Is that worth your time?”
This question invites the petty person to reconsider whether their complaints are worth the effort they’re putting into them.
- Examples:
- “Is that worth your time? You could be doing so much more!”
- “I mean, is that worth your time? There are bigger fish to fry!”
- “Seriously, is that worth your time? It seems pretty trivial.”
7. “Let’s save this drama for your next role.”
This lighthearted jab can help diffuse the situation, framing their complaints as something more suitable for a theatrical performance.
- Examples:
- “Let’s save this drama for your next role; I’m not your audience right now.”
- “This sounds like an audition for a drama series—let’s save this drama for your next role!”
- “Maybe we can turn this into a play! Let’s save this drama for your next role.”
8. “You really should consider yoga.”
Suggesting yoga implies that they might need to find a healthier outlet for their stress, subtly poking fun at their pettiness.
- Examples:
- “You really should consider yoga; it might help with all this negativity.”
- “With all this stress, you really should consider yoga! It could do wonders for you.”
- “You might want to consider yoga! It could help you chill out.”
9. “You’ve got a PhD in pettiness!”
This playful exaggeration points out their behaviour while maintaining a light-hearted tone, making it less confrontational.
- Examples:
- “Wow, you’ve got a PhD in pettiness! You should teach a class.”
- “With that level of expertise, you’ve got a PhD in pettiness!”
- “At this point, I’m convinced you’ve got a PhD in pettiness!”
10. “I’d call it a ‘you’ problem.”
By redirecting the focus, this response lets the petty person know that their issues aren’t everyone’s concern.
- Examples:
- “You know, I’d call it a ‘you’ problem, not a ‘me’ problem.”
- “Sounds like a ‘you’ problem to me; I can’t help with that.”
- “I think I’ll just label that a ‘you’ problem and move on.”
11. “I thought we were over this.”
This comment suggests that their complaints are stale and points to the absurdity of bringing them up again.
- Examples:
- “I thought we were over this! Didn’t we resolve this last week?”
- “I was under the impression we moved past this; I thought we were over this.”
- “Isn’t this the issue we resolved already? I thought we were over this.”
12. “Keep talking; I’m taking notes.”
By feigning interest in their complaints, you subtly mock their pettiness while keeping a straight face.
- Examples:
- “Keep talking; I’m taking notes for my next comedy set!”
- “This is pure gold! Keep talking; I’m taking notes.”
- “Wow, this is fascinating! Keep talking; I’m taking notes!”
13. “Is this your way of asking for attention?”
This response can prompt them to reflect on whether their behaviour is just a cry for attention.
- Examples:
- “Is this your way of asking for attention? Because it’s working!”
- “Are you trying to grab my attention? Because this feels like a cry for help.”
- “Is this your subtle way of asking for attention? Because I think it is!”
14. “You must love this drama.”
This comment sarcastically points out that they seem to thrive in petty situations.
- Examples:
- “You must love this drama! It’s almost like you live for it.”
- “Wow, you must love this drama! You’re the star of your show!”
- “You must be a drama queen because you seem to thrive on this!”
15. “Can you take it down a notch?”
This polite yet direct response suggests they might want to tone down their dramatics for everyone’s sake.
- Examples:
- “Could you take it down a notch? It’s a little overwhelming.”
- “Can you take it down a notch? This isn’t a soap opera!”
- “Could you tone it down a bit? It’s getting a little too dramatic for me.”
16. “Do you ever stop to think?”
This question encourages the petty person to pause and consider the validity of their complaints.
- Examples:
- “Do you ever stop to think about how this sounds? It’s quite entertaining!”
- “Have you ever stopped to think about what you’re saying? Because it’s pretty silly.”
- “Do you ever stop to think? Because this sounds more ridiculous by the minute.”
17. “I think we should just agree to disagree.”
This diplomatic response allows you to gracefully exit the conversation without escalating any further.
- Examples:
- “Let’s just agree to disagree; I’m not in the mood for this today.”
- “I think we should just agree to disagree and move on.”
- “How about we just agree to disagree? It’s easier that way!”
18. “You should try meditating.”
Suggesting meditation implies they need to calm down, and it lightly mocks their overly dramatic approach.
- Examples:
- “You should try meditating; it might help you chill out!”
- “Have you considered meditation? It could help with all this stress.”
- “You know, meditation might be good for you. Just a thought!”
19. “You should write a book about this.”
This sarcastic remark implies that their complaints are so trivial that they’re worthy of a fictional story.
- Examples:
- “You should write a book about this! I’d call it ‘The Art of Being Petty.'”
- “Honestly, you should write a book! I’d love to read ‘100 Ways to Be Petty.'”
- “This is pure inspiration for a novel! You should write a book about this.”
Conclusion
Dealing with a petty person can be frustrating, but with these clever responses, you can keep your composure while delivering a well-deserved jab. The key is to use humour and wit to redirect the conversation away from their trivial issues, allowing you to maintain your sanity while providing some much-needed entertainment. Whether you’re facing a petty coworker, a friend, or a family member, these comebacks will help you handle their antics like a pro!
𝐈’𝐦 Ella Rose 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 “𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 ” 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐨𝐫. 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬. 𝐈 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐮𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞. 𝐀𝐭 “𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬” 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬. 𝐃𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐝𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐨𝐫.
Gracie Mae 
Poppy Snow