You’ve heard the saying “Early to bed, early to rise” more times than you can count, right? It’s usually followed by some spiel about being healthy, wealthy, and wise. But let’s be real — not everyone’s a morning person, and sometimes you just need a witty comeback to keep things interesting. Whether you want to sound clever, sarcastic, or downright hilarious, here are funny responses that will make anyone think twice before dishing out this old proverb again.
Top List Of Responses to “Early To Bed, Early To Rise”
- But at what cost?
- Early to rise, still tired inside.
- I prefer ‘late to bed, even later to rise.’
- And cranky all day.
- Only if you’re a rooster.
- I rise when my coffee does.
- I like my sleep too much to be healthy.
- The early worm gets eaten.
- Yeah, but naps exist for a reason.
- Not if Netflix has anything to say about it.
- Tell that to my bed.
- Sounds like a conspiracy.
- More like ‘early to bed, groggy to rise.’
- I rise when my alarm lets me.
- Says who? Ben Franklin?
- Only if there’s breakfast.
- Can I get a refund?
- That’s what naps are for.
- Only if I’m paid.
- Who needs wisdom when you have coffee?
- My bed disagrees.
- If it’s so great, why am I yawning?
- I’ll pass on that wisdom.
- But I’m still late to everything.
- Only if there’s no other option.
1. “But at what cost?”
Is waking up early worth it? Let’s ponder the existential question of what you’re giving up for that extra time.
Examples:
- “Sure, but at what cost? My precious sleep!”
- “And what about my sanity? That’s priceless!”
- “Yeah, but at what cost? Happiness, clearly.”
2. “Early to rise, still tired inside.”
Even though you’re physically up, mentally you’re still in bed.
Examples:
- “I’m awake, but trust me, I’m still dreaming.”
- “Early to rise, early to regret, am I right?”
- “Woke up early, but still waiting on my brain to show up.”
3. “I prefer ‘late to bed, even later to rise.'”
Flip the script and embrace your inner night owl.
Examples:
- “I’m a strong advocate of the ‘late to bed’ philosophy.”
- “Why rise early when you can sleep till noon and live your best life?”
- “Late to bed, late to rise – because I’m more of a sunset person.”
4. “And cranky all day.”
You may be up early but don’t expect sunshine and rainbows.
Examples:
- “Early to rise, and cranky all day long!”
- “Yeah, but nobody talks about how grumpy I’ll be.”
- “Healthier? Maybe. Happier? Not.”
5. “Only if you’re a rooster.”
Because who else wakes up at dawn and feels great about it?
Examples:
- “Early to rise? Sure, if I were a rooster.”
- “Roosters rise early; I’m more of a sloth.”
- “Roosters can have that life. I’ll pass.”
6. “I rise when my coffee does.”
No caffeine, no productivity — it’s that simple.
Examples:
- “I’ll rise when my coffee cup calls me.”
- “Sure, early to bed, but my coffee needs to rise first.”
- “I rise and shine only after my second cup.”
7. “I like my sleep too much to be healthy.”
Being well-rested is my version of health.
Examples:
- “If sleep were a sport, I’d be an Olympic gold medalist.”
- “I’m plenty healthy… I just happen to value sleep more.”
- “Sleep > Health, Wealth, and whatever else you said.”
8. “The early worm gets eaten.”
Why be early if it just leads to your demise?
Examples:
- “I’d rather be a late worm and live another day.”
- “Early worms get eaten; I’m just trying to stay alive here.”
- “You know who else rises early? Worms. Look where that gets them.”
9. “Yeah, but naps exist for a reason.”
Who needs to wake up early when you can just nap later?
Examples:
- “I rise early… to take a nap right after.”
- “Naps were invented for people like me who don’t do mornings.”
- “Early to rise, early to nap. It’s a cycle.”
10. “Not if Netflix has anything to say about it.”
Because late-night binge-watching is a lifestyle.
Examples:
- “I’d rise early, but Netflix always has other plans.”
- “Early to bed, unless Netflix releases a new season!”
- “Netflix says no to ‘early to bed.’”
11. “Tell that to my bed.”
Your bed is just too comfy to leave.
Examples:
- “My bed says no to your ‘early to rise’ nonsense.”
- “Tell that to my bed – it’s not letting me go anywhere early.”
- “My bed’s too clingy for this ‘early rise’ nonsense.”
12. “Sounds like a conspiracy.”
Who came up with this early-rising idea anyway?
Examples:
- “This ‘early to rise’ thing sounds like a government conspiracy.”
- “Who benefits from this early rising? Not me!”
- “I smell a conspiracy — the late risers are onto something.”
13. “More like ‘early to bed, groggy to rise.'”
Because no amount of sleep will prepare you for the day.
Examples:
- “Early to bed, but still as groggy as a zombie.”
- “I rise early, but I’m a walking yawn.”
- “Groggy to rise is more my reality.”
14. “I rise when my alarm lets me.”
And sometimes, your alarm likes to snooze too.
Examples:
- “I rise early, only if my alarm lets me.”
- “My alarm and I are in a constant battle of wills.”
- “Alarm: 1, Me: 0.”
15. “Says who? Ben Franklin?”
Time to roast the historical figure behind this famous phrase.
Examples:
- “Ben Franklin didn’t have Netflix — he doesn’t get it.”
- “Franklin might’ve been into early rising, but that’s his problem.”
- “Ben Franklin never had to hit the snooze button.”
16. “Only if there’s breakfast.”
Because food is the ultimate motivator.
Examples:
- “I’ll rise early for pancakes, otherwise, forget it.”
- “Early to rise? Only if there’s bacon involved.”
- “Breakfast is the only reason worth getting up early.”
17. “Can I get a refund?”
This whole ‘early to rise’ thing didn’t live up to the hype.
Examples:
- “I woke up early and feel worse. Can I get my sleep back?”
- “Where’s my refund for this terrible advice?”
- “I rose early; now I want a refund on life.”
18. “That’s what naps are for.”
It’s not about when you rise — it’s about how you compensate.
Examples:
- “Early to rise, but naps to the rescue!”
- “Naps make everything better, even early rising.”
- “That’s why naps exist — balance is key.”
19. “Only if I’m paid.”
The only way you’re getting up early is if there’s cash involved.
Examples:
- “Early to rise? Sure, if there’s money on the table.”
- “I’ll wake up early… if my paycheck tells me to.”
- “Is this advice coming with a paycheck? If not, hard pass.”
20. “Who needs wisdom when you have coffee?”
Coffee is the real key to success.
Examples:
- “Forget wisdom, coffee is my morning fuel.”
- “I’ll take coffee over wisdom any day.”
- “Wisdom is overrated; coffee, however, is essential.”
21. “My bed disagrees.”
It’s hard to rise early when your bed has other plans.
Examples:
- “My bed says no to early rising — I think I’ll listen.”
- “Bed: 1, Me: 0. Early rising doesn’t stand a chance.”
- “My bed and I are in a committed relationship — I’m staying.”
22. “If it’s so great, why am I yawning?”
This “early to rise” thing doesn’t seem to be working out.
Examples:
- “If early rising is so healthy, why am I exhausted?”
- “I rose early and yawned through the whole day.”
- “I’m up early and still yawning — what’s the point?”
23. “I’ll pass on that wisdom.”
Wisdom is cool and all, but sleep? Way cooler.
Examples:
- “Wisdom sounds overrated compared to sleep.”
- “I’ll pass on the wisdom — sleep is more my style.”
- “Who needs wisdom when there’s Netflix and a comfy bed?”
24. “But I’m still late to everything.”
Waking up early doesn’t seem to fix punctuality.
Examples:
- “I rise early, yet I’m still late to everything. Explain that.”
- “I woke up at 6, and I’m still late for my 9 AM meeting.”
- “Early to rise, late to show up. Story of my life.”
25. “Only if there’s no other option.”
Why wake up early when you could sleep in?
Examples:
- “I’ll rise early if it’s the absolute last resort.”
- “If there’s no option left, sure, I’ll rise early.”
- “Only in dire situations do I wake up early — like for brunch.”
Conclusion
There you have it, funny responses to the age-old “early to bed, early to rise” saying. Whether you’re looking to get a laugh or just want to defend your right to sleep in, these comebacks will have you covered. Just remember, not everyone was built to be a morning person — and that’s perfectly okay!
𝐈’𝐦 𝐎𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐚 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 “𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 “𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐨𝐫. 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬. 𝐈 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐮𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞. 𝐀𝐭 “𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬” 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬. 𝐃𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐝𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐨𝐫.
Gracie Mae