When someone asks, “What’s new with you?” it can feel like a blank slate, but why not fill that slate with some humour?
In case you’re catching up with an old friend or trying to lighten the mood at a gathering, a funny response can keep the conversation lively. Here are witty replies to “What’s new with you?” that are sure to get a laugh (or at least a smile)!
Top List Of Replies to “What’s New With You?”
“I just got a pet rock! His name is Rocky.”
2. “I decided to become a professional napper.”
3. “I’ve started a new diet: I call it the ‘See Food’ diet.”
4. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it!”
5. “I just enrolled in a course on how to procrastinate.”
6. “I’ve been busy reinventing the wheel. It’s going great!”
7. “I just learned how to fold a fitted sheet. It’s a miracle!”
8. “I’ve joined a support group for people who can’t stop telling dad jokes.”
9. “I just got a promotion: I’m now the CEO of my couch!”
10. “I’m developing my skills as a professional binge-watcher.”
11. “I’ve started a new hobby: collecting dust!”
12. “I just found out I can fit into my high school jeans… for one leg!”
13. “I’m starting a new career in interpretive dancing. Wanna see?”
14. “I’m learning how to speak fluent emoji. 📱💃”
15. “I’m cultivating my garden of procrastination. It’s blooming nicely!”
16. “I just took up extreme ironing! It’s thrilling!”
17. “I’m trying to break the world record for most coffee consumed in a day.”
18. “I’m starting my own ‘How to Avoid Responsibility’ blog.”
19. “I’ve been secretly training to become a cat whisperer.”
20. “I’ve joined a team of professional snackers. We take our job very seriously!”
21. “I’m preparing for the annual couch potato Olympics!”
22. “I’ve become a master of online shopping. My skills are top-notch!”
23. “I’m on a quest to find the best pizza in town. It’s a tough job!”
24. “I just became the world’s first professional daydreamer!”
25. “I’m perfecting my skills in Netflix navigation. It’s harder than it looks!”
1. “I just got a pet rock! His name is Rocky.”
This classic joke is a playful way to show your quirky side. Everyone loves a pet story, and a pet rock is so absurd that it’s bound to amuse. Plus, it opens the door for more silly conversations.
- Example 1: “I take Rocky for walks… in my pocket.”
- Example 2: “He’s pretty low maintenance, unlike my last pet!”
- Example 3: “Rocky is great at listening, but he doesn’t talk back!”
2. “I decided to become a professional napper.”
This tongue-in-cheek response highlights your dedication to rest while poking fun at a common pastime. It’s relatable and invites laughter, especially from those who know the joys of a good nap.
- Example 1: “I have a nap schedule: 3 naps a day!”
- Example 2: “I’m considering putting that on my resume.”
- Example 3: “I’m training for the Nap Olympics.”
3. “I’ve started a new diet: I call it the ‘See Food’ diet.”
This response is punny and clever, playing on the phrase “see food.” It implies that you eat anything you see, making it humorous for anyone who has tried various diets.
- Example 1: “It’s working—my fridge is always empty!”
- Example 2: “I’m especially successful at parties.”
- Example 3: “I think I’m going to go pro at it.”
4. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it!”
Another twist on the food theme, this joke is lighthearted and fun. It’s a great way to keep the mood jovial while subtly nodding to our collective love for food.
- Example 1: “I’ve been particularly good at this diet lately.”
- Example 2: “I even dream about food—does that count?”
- Example 3: “I think I’m gaining some serious skills!”
5. “I just enrolled in a course on how to procrastinate.”
This playful comment is perfect for anyone who finds themselves putting things off. It’s relatable and humorous, making it easy to connect with others who share the same struggle.
- Example 1: “But first, I need to take a break!”
- Example 2: “I’m actually ‘studying’ right now… sort of.”
- Example 3: “The final exam is due… whenever!”
6. “I’ve been busy reinventing the wheel. It’s going great!”
This witty response plays on the idea of being innovative while poking fun at how unnecessary some tasks can be. It’s a light-hearted way to express that you’re up to something—without taking yourself too seriously.
- Example 1: “I’m considering launching a new ‘wheel’ company!”
- Example 2: “So far, it’s a circle… still working on the square.”
- Example 3: “I’ll keep you posted on my ‘progress.’”
7. “I just learned how to fold a fitted sheet. It’s a miracle!”
Folding fitted sheets can be a real challenge, and this humorous statement highlights that struggle. It’s a great way to relate to others who have faced the same laundry battle.
- Example 1: “I feel like I’ve achieved a life goal!”
- Example 2: “Now I’m considering becoming a sheet-folding guru.”
- Example 3: “I might start offering classes!”
8. “I’ve joined a support group for people who can’t stop telling dad jokes.”
This response is lighthearted and relatable for anyone who loves puns and dad jokes. It’s a fun way to bond over shared humour while also admitting to your tendencies.
- Example 1: “We meet every dad’s day, of course!”
- Example 2: “The first rule is: no good jokes allowed!”
- Example 3: “I’m the president—obviously.”
9. “I just got a promotion: I’m now the CEO of my couch!”
This playful comment reflects the joy of lounging and being comfortable at home. It’s an amusing way to express that sometimes, doing nothing is the ultimate goal.
- Example 1: “My job description includes snacks and naps.”
- Example 2: “I oversee all remote work operations.”
- Example 3: “The commute is just across the room!”
10. “I’m developing my skills as a professional binge-watcher.”
This response is perfect for the TV and movie lovers out there. It adds a humorous twist to a common pastime while acknowledging the cultural phenomenon of binge-watching.
- Example 1: “I’m currently in training for the next season!”
- Example 2: “I’ve logged in enough hours for a diploma!”
- Example 3: “My couch is my training ground.”
11. “I’ve started a new hobby: collecting dust!”
This witty remark pokes fun at procrastination while embracing the chaos of everyday life. It’s an amusing way to share your experiences with tidiness—or lack thereof.
- Example 1: “I have quite the collection going on!”
- Example 2: “I’m thinking of entering it in a museum.”
- Example 3: “I’m calling it ‘Art of Neglect.’”
12. “I just found out I can fit into my high school jeans… for one leg!”
This humorous twist on an old struggle is relatable for many who have experienced weight changes over the years. It’s a light-hearted way to express body positivity while laughing at oneself.
- Example 1: “Who knew I had such flexibility?”
- Example 2: “I’m calling it ‘fashion evolution.’”
- Example 3: “Maybe I’ll start a one-legged trend!”
13. “I’m starting a new career in interpretive dancing. Wanna see?”
This over-the-top response adds a touch of absurdity to the conversation, inviting laughter and curiosity. It’s a fun way to joke about taking a risk—no matter how ridiculous it may sound.
- Example 1: “I specialize in ‘sitting and scrolling’ movements!”
- Example 2: “I’m working on my ‘coffee cup’ routine.”
- Example 3: “My performances are exclusively solo for now.”
14. “I’m learning how to speak fluent emoji. 📱💃”
This response reflects our digital culture and the rise of emojis in communication. It’s humorous and modern, appealing to anyone who enjoys playfully expressing themselves.
- Example 1: “I’m pretty good at the smiley face. 😊”
- Example 2: “I’m still working on the more complex ones! 🤔”
- Example 3: “My favourite is the dancing lady. 💃”
15. “I’m cultivating my garden of procrastination. It’s blooming nicely!”
This clever twist on gardening captures the essence of putting things off in a lighthearted way. It’s a fun expression that many can relate to when managing daily tasks.
- Example 1: “I think I’ll need a bigger pot soon!”
- Example 2: “The flowers are thriving, just like my excuses!”
- Example 3: “I’ll get to weeding it out later.”
16. “I just took up extreme ironing! It’s thrilling!”
This absurd response is guaranteed to get a chuckle. The concept of extreme ironing—a combination of outdoor adventure and household chores—is outrageous and funny.
- Example 1: “I’ve ironed on a cliff, it’s exhilarating!”
- Example 2: “Next, I’m trying it underwater!”
- Example 3: “My next challenge: ironing while skydiving!”
17. “I’m trying to break the world record for most coffee consumed daily.”
This playful statement shows a love for caffeine while hinting at how it fuels your day. It’s relatable and can spark conversations about coffee preferences.
- Example 1: “I’m currently at five cups… and counting!”
- Example 2: “I think I’ll need a refill just thinking about it.”
- Example 3: “Is it too early to start preparing for tomorrow?”
18. “I’m starting my own ‘How to Avoid Responsibility’ blog.”
This tongue-in-cheek remark is a funny way to highlight a common struggle. It’s relatable and can easily lead to conversations about the joys of procrastination.
- Example 1: “I’m currently drafting my first post!”
- Example 2: “The first chapter is titled ‘Netflix and Chill.’”
- Example 3: “I’ve got plenty of material to work with!”
19. “I’ve been secretly training to become a cat whisperer.”
This light-hearted response adds a touch of whimsy while showcasing a love for pets. It’s a fun way to express a connection with animals, especially cat lovers.
- Example 1: “I’m working on my purring technique.”
- Example 2: “So far, they seem indifferent!”
- Example 3: “I think I’m making progress—maybe.”
20. “I’ve joined a team of professional snackers. We take our job very seriously!”
This humorous twist highlights the joys of snacking while creating a playful image of a dedicated team. It’s sure to get a laugh from fellow snack enthusiasts.
- Example 1: “We have snack meetings every Friday!”
- Example 2: “I’m the chief taste tester.”
- Example 3: “Our motto: ‘One bite at a time!’”
21. “I’m preparing for the annual couch potato Olympics!”
This cheeky response is perfect for anyone who enjoys lounging around. It’s lighthearted and fun, emphasizing the art of doing nothing.
- Example 1: “I’ve been training for weeks!”
- Example 2: “My event is ‘best snack selection.’”
- Example 3: “I think I’ll take home the gold!”
22. “I’ve become a master of online shopping. My skills are top-notch!”
This funny comment reflects our modern shopping habits while adding a touch of humour. It’s relatable for anyone who loves a good online deal.
- Example 1: “I can spot a good sale from a mile away!”
- Example 2: “I’ve mastered the art of ‘just browsing’.”
- Example 3: “Shipping notifications are my best friends!”
23. “I’m on a quest to find the best pizza in town. It’s a tough job!”
This playful statement highlights a love for food while adding a humorous twist to the pursuit of the perfect slice. It invites others to share their favourite pizza places.
- Example 1: “I’m collecting reviews like Pokémon cards!”
- Example 2: “I’ve already hit three places this week.”
- Example 3: “The struggle is real, but someone has to do it!”
24. “I just became the world’s first professional daydreamer!”
This whimsical response is both amusing and relatable. It pokes fun at the art of zoning out while also inviting laughter.
- Example 1: “My daydreaming skills are off the charts!”
- Example 2: “I think I’m ready for a sponsorship.”
- Example 3: “I’m working on my dream repertoire.”
25. “I’m perfecting my skills in Netflix navigation. It’s harder than it looks!”
This humorous comment speaks to the challenges of choosing what to watch in the age of streaming. It’s relatable and lighthearted, perfect for sparking conversations about binge-watching experiences.
- Example 1: “I’ve seen so many trailers, I might as well write a review!”
- Example 2: “I’m considering hosting a movie marathon soon.”
- Example 3: “I’ve got my popcorn-making down to an art!”
Conclusion
In conclusion, when someone asks, “What’s new with you?” you don’t have to stick to the usual answers. These funny responses can not only lighten the mood but also spark engaging conversations. Next time you’re in a casual chat, try one of these clever comebacks and see where the laughter takes you!
𝐈’𝐦 Gracie Mae 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 “𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 ” 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐨𝐫. 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬. 𝐈 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐮𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞. 𝐀𝐭 “𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬” 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬. 𝐃𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐝𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐨𝐫.
Poppy Snow 
Celia Anne