Asking someone, “How much do you make?” is often a nosy or awkward question, especially when it pops up unexpectedly. Instead of fumbling for an answer or getting caught off-guard, why not have some funny comebacks ready to diffuse the situation?
Whether you want to keep things light or deliver a witty retort, these funny responses will have you covered.
Top List Of Responses to “How Much Do You Make?”
- “Enough to keep my cat fed.”
- “I’m rich in experience!”
- “Well, let’s just say the IRS knows my name.”
- “Not enough for this conversation.”
- “More than I made last year!”
- “Enough to afford this look.”
- “I make money moves.”
- “A bit more than Monopoly money.”
- “Well, the bills are still getting paid… mostly.”
- “Enough to make it rain in the dollar store.”
- “Let’s just say I’m a big deal in Candy Crush.”
- “Depends on how many lottery tickets I buy.”
- “Oh, just enough to keep my Netflix subscription active.”
- “More than I can count—because I hate math.”
- “I’m rolling in… debt.”
- “Not as much as my boss, that’s for sure.”
- “I’m still waiting on my sugar daddy application approval.”
- “Let’s just say I’m on first-name terms with the fast-food employees.”
- “Enough to pay rent and still have ramen.”
- “Enough to make me consider becoming a full-time influencer.”
- “I’m earning an Oscar-worthy performance as a broke person.”
1. “Enough to keep my cat fed.”
Cats are expensive, right? This response keeps it lighthearted and avoids giving a straight answer, making the conversation more fun.
Examples:
- “Well, my cat gets the fancy tuna, so I guess I’m doing okay.”
- “As long as my furball’s happy, I’m happy.”
- “My budget’s more for cat treats than human snacks!”
2. “I’m rich in experience!”
Perfect for sidestepping the money topic while subtly hinting that value comes in more forms than just cash.
Examples:
- “My bank account might disagree, but my life experiences are priceless.”
- “Does my frequent flier mileage count as income?”
- “I’m basically a treasure trove of lessons learned.”
3. “Well, let’s just say the IRS knows my name.”
This is a clever way to imply you’re paying your taxes but without saying exactly how much you earn.
Examples:
- “I’ve got a personal fan club at the IRS!”
- “The IRS and I are on a first-name basis.”
- “Let’s just say, I contribute.”
4. “Not enough for this conversation.”
If you’re feeling playful but don’t want to go into details, this one’s a quick and easy dodge.
Examples:
- “Trust me, this isn’t a millionaire chat.”
- “I can’t afford to have this conversation!”
- “If I had more, I’d be somewhere else right now.”
5. “More than I made last year!”
This optimistic response suggests progress without getting too specific, keeping the mood light.
Examples:
- “Hey, I’m moving up, slowly but surely.”
- “As long as it’s more than zero, I’m winning.”
- “Well, it’s better than 2020!”
6. “Enough to afford this look.”
Using humor and fashion, you divert attention away from the actual question, focusing on your style instead.
Examples:
- “The clothes may be secondhand, but they work!”
- “If I look good, does it matter how much I make?”
- “I’ll take compliments over a salary any day.”
7. “I make money moves.”
Channeling Cardi B’s iconic line, this response is bold and confident, even if your bank account says otherwise.
Examples:
- “Catch me in my hustle!”
- “I’m here making moves, not excuses.”
- “It’s all about the grind, right?”
8. “A bit more than Monopoly money.”
This playful jab uses a popular game to avoid the question while giving a humorous answer.
Examples:
- “I’ve got stacks… of fake bills.”
- “My Monopoly game’s strong!”
- “You want to trade properties while we’re at it?”
9. “Well, the bills are still getting paid… mostly.”
Honesty with a twist! This response keeps things real without revealing too much.
Examples:
- “Most bills, at least. The electricity’s still on!”
- “Hey, as long as I’m not living in darkness, I’m good.”
- “Let’s just say I’m a master of juggling.”
10. “Enough to make it rain in the dollar store.”
This sarcastic response highlights that you’re not rolling in cash, but you’re still living.
Examples:
- “The dollar store employees know me by name!”
- “I’m out here making it rain… one dollar at a time.”
- “Budget baller status.”
11. “Let’s just say I’m a big deal in Candy Crush.”
For those addicted to mobile games, this comeback works as a light-hearted evasion.
Examples:
- “I’m crushing it, pun intended.”
- “My level 200 speaks for itself.”
- “Who needs money when you have game lives?”
12. “Depends on how many lottery tickets I buy.”
This clever answer leaves things open-ended, adding humor while dodging the question.
Examples:
- “This week, I’m banking on a jackpot!”
- “My paycheck goes directly into scratch-offs.”
- “I’m investing… in hopes and dreams.”
13. “Oh, just enough to keep my Netflix subscription active.”
A funny nod to modern-day essentials, this response uses relatability to dodge the income query.
Examples:
- “Netflix is the real priority, you know?”
- “As long as I’ve got my shows, I’m golden.”
- “Let’s just say, I’m not sharing my password.”
14. “More than I can count—because I hate math.”
This response is for those who want to joke about their math skills while avoiding the topic of money.
Examples:
- “Numbers aren’t my strong suit, but I’m surviving.”
- “I avoid math at all costs, pun intended.”
- “Why count money when you can count joy?”
15. “I’m rolling in… debt.”
A comical way to admit financial struggles without giving too much away.
Examples:
- “I’m rolling in something, alright.”
- “Debt collectors love me!”
- “Rolling… all the way to my bank’s help line.”
16. “Not as much as my boss, that’s for sure.”
A lighthearted jab at the wage gap, this response is humorous but relatable.
Examples:
- “Let’s just say, I’m not on the same yacht as my boss.”
- “Bosses have a different pay bracket… one I’m not in.”
- “My boss keeps the big bucks, I keep the hustle.”
17. “I’m still waiting on my sugar daddy application approval.”
If you’re feeling playful, this tongue-in-cheek answer is perfect for sidestepping the question while getting a laugh.
Examples:
- “Once my sugar daddy kicks in, it’ll be smooth sailing.”
- “It’s a waiting game – sugar daddies take their time.”
- “Still on the waiting list… fingers crossed!”
18. “Let’s just say I’m on first-name terms with the fast-food employees.”
A funny way to indicate you’re a regular at the local fast food joint, keeping things relatable and fun.
Examples:
- “McDonald’s? They know my usual.”
- “I’ve got a reserved table at Taco Bell.”
- “The drive-thru folks and I are basically BFFs.”
19. “Enough to pay rent and still have ramen.”
This sarcastic response gives a relatable nod to budgeting struggles while staying humorous.
Examples:
- “Rent’s paid, and ramen’s a gourmet choice!”
- “At least my diet’s affordable.”
- “I’m living that rent-and-ramen life!”
20. “Enough to make me consider becoming a full-time influencer.”
If you’re not making bank yet, but you’ve thought about Instagram stardom, this one’s for you.
Examples:
- “Maybe I should start posting about protein shakes.”
- “Time to make my pet Instagram famous!”
- “I’m one selfie away from quitting my day job.”
21. “I’m earning an Oscar-worthy performance as a broke person.”
An exaggerated way to joke about your financial situation while giving a nod to acting skills.
Examples:
- “My broke act deserves an award, don’t you think?”
- “I’m basically the Leonardo DiCaprio of being broke.”
- “Acting broke should be an Olympic sport.”
Conclusion
The next time someone asks, “How much do you make?”, you won’t have to panic or stumble through an awkward explanation. With these funny responses, you can keep things light and playful while steering clear of uncomfortable conversations. Choose the one that suits your mood, and you’ll be ready to dodge that question with style!
𝐈’𝐦 Celia Anne 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 “𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 ” 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐨𝐫. 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬. 𝐈 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐮𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞. 𝐀𝐭 “𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬” 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬. 𝐃𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐝𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐨𝐫.
Olivia Bloom 
Poppy Snow