Sometimes, people ask, “What are your plans today?” and you’re either not in the mood to answer seriously, or you want to inject a little humour into the conversation.
ย Whether you’re busy or just plan on binge-watching TV, a funny response can turn a simple question into an entertaining exchange.ย
Below are 20 witty comebacks thatโll get a good laugh, no matter what your real plans are. Use these to add some humour to your dayโand theirs!
Top List Of Funny Responses to “What Are Your Plans Today?”
- “Iโm thinking about doing nothing, but I havenโt made a final decision yet.”
- “Iโm booked solid with some serious napping.”
- “Probably trying to become a millionaire, but Iโll settle for finding socks that match.”
- “World domination, but Iโll start with organizing my closet.”
- “Iโve got a full agenda of pretending to be productive.”
- “Just waiting for my Hogwarts letter, so until then, Netflix.”
- “Saving the world, one snack at a time.”
- “I was going to conquer the world, but then I got hungry.”
- “Today? Just trying not to trip over air.”
- “Probably winging it, like I do with everything.”
- “Going to achieve nothing, and Iโll do it with style.”
- “Just living my best lazy life.”
- “I was planning on being awesome, but I think I’ll just take a nap instead.”
- “I might take over the world, or just make a sandwich. We’ll see.”
- “Planning to break a world record in procrastination.”
- “Just here, trying to adult without a manual.”
- “Iโm in a serious relationship with my couch today.”
- “Todayโs all about not wearing real pants.”
- “Probably scrolling through memes and pretending Iโm busy.”
- “Attempting to achieve ‘Netflix and chill’ without the chill.”
1. “Iโm thinking about doing nothing, but I havenโt made a final decision yet.”
When youโre indecisive about committing to doing absolutely nothing.
Examples:
- “I might clean the house, or I might just stare at the ceiling for an hour.”
- “I could go out, or I could just stay in my pyjamas.”
- “The couch looks comfy, but the bed is also calling.”
2. “Iโm booked solid with some serious napping.”
Sometimes, rest is the top priority, and napping is the only thing on the agenda.
Examples:
- “Got a nap scheduled at 2, another at 4, and maybe one more before dinner.”
- “I have back-to-back naps planned. No time for anything else.”
- “Sorry, canโt hang out today. My pillow needs me.”
3. “Probably trying to become a millionaire, but Iโll settle for finding socks that match.”
A humorous way to show ambition, but also a nod to lifeโs smaller victories.
Examples:
- “Gonna make a million, or maybe just find the remote.”
- “Millionaire dreams? Yeah, right after I find my car keys.”
- “Iโll take either the jackpot or some matching socks. Both seem equally hard to get.”
4. “World domination, but Iโll start with organizing my closet.”
Big plans always start somewhere, even if itโs in the smallest of places.
Examples:
- “If I can conquer this closet, the world is next.”
- “Step one: organize socks. Step two: take over the world.”
- “First, I tackle the mess in my room, then… who knows?”
5. “Iโve got a full agenda of pretending to be productive.”
Sometimes, looking busy is just as important as being busyโat least on the surface.
Examples:
- “Iโll shuffle some papers around, look important, and call it a day.”
- “Planning to stare at my to-do list until it does itself.”
- “Iโll make a coffee, sit down, and look like Iโm doing something important.”
6. “Just waiting for my Hogwarts letter, so until then, Netflix.”
For those who still hold out hope for a little magic in their lives.
Examples:
- “Still no owl, so I guess Iโll watch ‘Harry Potter’ instead.”
- “Waiting for my Hogwarts acceptance has been a full-time job.”
- “The letterโs just late. Until it arrives, Iโll binge-watch my favourite series.”
7. “Saving the world, one snack at a time.”
Who says saving the world canโt involve snacks? Everyone needs fuel.
Examples:
- “First Iโll save myself with a snack, then Iโll consider saving others.”
- “I think Iโll start with some cookies, then Iโll tackle world hunger.”
- “Todayโs hero? Me, because I found chips in the pantry.”
8. “I was going to conquer the world, but then I got hungry.”
Even the most ambitious plans can be interrupted by hunger.
Examples:
- “World domination can wait. I need a sandwich.”
- “Take over the world? Sure. After lunch.”
- “I had big plans, but I got sidetracked by pizza.”
9. “Today? Just trying not to trip over air.”
Sometimes, the only goal is making it through the day without embarrassing yourself.
Examples:
- “I nearly fell out of bed, so itโs been one of those days.”
- “If I can make it to noon without stumbling, itโll be a good day.”
- “Iโm just hoping I donโt walk into any walls today.”
10. “Probably winging it, like I do with everything.”
When youโre going with the flow and hoping for the best.
Examples:
- “No plans? No problem. Iโll just wing it.”
- “Iโll figure it out as I go, like I always do.”
- “The plan is… there is no plan. Letโs see what happens.”
11. “Going to achieve nothing, and Iโll do it with style.”
When laziness becomes an art form.
Examples:
- “If doing nothing was an Olympic sport, Iโd win gold.”
- “Iโll achieve zero today, but Iโll look good doing it.”
- “My to-do list has nothing on it, and I plan to keep it that way.”
12. “Just living my best lazy life.”
Embracing the beauty of doing absolutely nothing.
Examples:
- “Pajamas all day? Yes, please.”
- “A lazy day on the couch sounds like perfection.”
- “Todayโs goal: do nothing, and do it well.”
13. “I was planning on being awesome, but I think I’ll just take a nap instead.”
Ambition is great, but naps are better.
Examples:
- “Iโll be amazing tomorrow. Today, itโs nap time.”
- “I wanted to change the world, but my bed changed my mind.”
- “Iโll save the awesomeness for another day. Nap first.”
14. “I might take over the world, or just make a sandwich. We’ll see.”
Leaving the options wide open.
Examples:
- “World domination or grilled cheese? Tough choice.”
- “Iโll decide after lunch whether to conquer the planet.”
- “Letโs see how I feel after this sandwich.”
15. “Planning to break a world record in procrastination.”
When putting things off becomes a personal achievement.
Examples:
- “Iโm already an hour behind schedule, so Iโm on track.”
- “Why do something today that I can put off until next week?”
- “Procrastination is an art form, and Iโm a master.”
16. “Just here, trying to adult without a manual.”
Adulting is hard, especially when thereโs no guidebook.
Examples:
- “Bills, chores, responsibilities? Who signed me up for this?”
- “Still waiting for my adulting manual in the mail.”
- “Iโm just winging adulthood one day at a time.”
17. “Iโm in a serious relationship with my couch today.”
When the couch is your best friend for the day, and you’re not ashamed of it.
Examples:
- “Sorry, I have a date with my couch and a blanket.”
- “Todayโs all about me, the couch, and Netflix.”
- “My couch is possessive, and I canโt break its heart.”
18. “Todayโs all about not wearing real pants.”
When comfort is the ultimate goal, and pyjamas are the only dress code.
Examples:
- “Sweatpants all dayโwhat more could I want?”
- “My real plans? Avoiding jeans at all costs.”
- “Pants with buttons? Not today, my friend.”
19. “Probably scrolling through memes and pretending Iโm busy.”
When your day is filled with internet distractions instead of actual work.
Examples:
- “Iโll be busy pretending Iโm working while looking at memes.”
- “My boss thinks Iโm working; Iโm just scrolling through funny cat videos.”
- “Memes are calling, and I must answer.”
20. “Attempting to achieve ‘Netflix and chill’ without the chill.”
When you’re binge-watching, but there’s no romantic subtext involved.
Examples:
- “Itโs just me, Netflix, and a lot of snacksโno chill necessary.”
- “Iโm planning a solo Netflix marathon.”
- “No chilling, just binging my favourite shows.”
Conclusion
Whether your day is full or free, these funny responses to “What are your plans today?” are sure to bring a smile to anyoneโs face. From napping to imaginary world domination, life is all about how you frame itโand a little humour can turn even the most ordinary day into something fun. So next time someone asks about your plans, try one of these witty comebacks and let the laughter begin!
๐’๐ฆ Ella Roseย ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐ซ๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ “๐๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ฒ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ฉ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐๐ฌ ” ๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ซ๐ ๐ฐ๐ ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ง ๐จ๐ซ๐๐ข๐ง๐๐ซ๐ฒ ๐ซ๐๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ฑ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐จ๐ซ๐๐ข๐ง๐๐ซ๐ฒ ๐๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ. ๐๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ ๐๐ฅ๐๐ข๐ซ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐๐ซ๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ๐ก๐๐ซ๐ฉ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ฒ ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐๐๐๐๐ค๐ฌ. ๐ ๐ฌ๐ฉ๐๐๐ข๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ณ๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐ฆ๐๐ค๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐๐ซ๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐ฎ๐ง๐๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐๐ญ๐ญ๐๐๐ฅ๐. ๐๐ญ “๐๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ฒ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ฉ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐๐ฌ” ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ข๐ง๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐จ๐ง๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ฌ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐๐ก๐๐ซ๐ฆ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ฅ๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ง๐๐ฌ๐ฌ. ๐๐ข๐ฏ๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ง ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ฆ๐๐ค๐ ๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ฒ ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ฉ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ ๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐๐๐ฅ๐ ๐จ๐ง๐๐ฃ๐จ๐ข๐ง ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐๐ญ ๐๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ฒ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ฉ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐๐ฌ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ ๐๐จ๐ฌ๐ ๐จ๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ๐๐ฎ๐ฅ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ.
Celia Anne 
Olivia Bloom