Criticism—constructive or just plain unnecessary—comes at us from all angles.
While it can sting, the right comeback can flip the script and leave you victorious.
Whether you’re dealing with a snarky comment at work or a passive-aggressive remark from a friend, having a few witty responses up your sleeve can help you handle criticism with grace and humor. Here are clever retorts that will make you the champion of comebacks!
Top List Of Witty Responses to Criticism
- “I’ll take that under advisement.”
- “Thanks for the feedback. I’ll file it under ‘unsolicited advice.'”
- “Is that the best you’ve got?”
- “I’ll keep that in mind the next time I need your opinion.”
- “I didn’t realize we were accepting unsolicited critiques today.”
- “Well, someone’s in a mood!”
- “I’ll take your opinion under advisement and promptly ignore it.”
- “Did you mean to be that rude, or is it just a side effect?”
- “Ah, constructive criticism disguised as an insult. Classic.”
- “I’m going to treat that comment with the respect it deserves—which is none.”
- “And yet, here I am, still thriving.”
- “If I cared any less, I’d be asleep right now.”
- “You must be really fun at parties.”
- “I’ll be sure to lose sleep over that tonight.”
- “You know, opinions are like belly buttons—everyone’s got one.”
- “I didn’t realize I ordered a side of criticism.”
- “Interesting… Tell me more about how perfect you are.”
- “I’m sorry, did you mean to be this petty?”
- “If only I cared enough to improve!”
- “I’ll work on that… in my spare time.”
- “I’ll just add that to my list of things I don’t care about.”
- “I see you’ve mistaken me for someone who values your opinion.”
- “Do you always offer opinions, or just when no one asks?”
“I’ll take that under advisement.”
This phrase is the ultimate way to acknowledge criticism without actually accepting it. It shows that you heard the critique but won’t let it change your mood.
Examples:
- “You’re always late to meetings.”
“I’ll take that under advisement, but I also bring the best snacks.” - “Your report needs more detail.”
“I’ll take that under advisement—and maybe hire a novelist next time.” - “Your hair’s a mess today.”
“I’ll take that under advisement, and maybe consult with the wind.”
“Thanks for the feedback. I’ll file it under ‘unsolicited advice.'”
This is a cheeky way of saying “I don’t really care” while still sounding polite.
Examples:
- “You should really dress more professionally.”
“Thanks for the feedback. I’ll file it under ‘unsolicited advice.'” - “Your cooking could use some work.”
“Thanks for the feedback. I’ll file it under ‘unsolicited advice.'” - “You’re not very good at this, are you?”
“Thanks for the feedback. I’ll file it under ‘unsolicited advice.'”
“Is that the best you’ve got?”
Perfect for the weak attempts at bringing you down. It shows confidence and leaves the critic scrambling.
Examples:
- “You didn’t even try on this project.”
“Is that the best you’ve got?” - “Your presentation was boring.”
“Is that the best you’ve got?” - “You’re really bad at multitasking.”
“Is that the best you’ve got?”
“I’ll keep that in mind the next time I need your opinion.”
A lighthearted way to brush off criticism, this makes it clear that you aren’t asking for advice.
Examples:
- “That outfit is a disaster.”
“I’ll keep that in mind the next time I need your opinion.” - “Your work could be better.”
“I’ll keep that in mind the next time I need your opinion.” - “You could be more organized.”
“I’ll keep that in mind the next time I need your opinion.”
“I didn’t realize we were accepting unsolicited critiques today.”
This sarcastic response makes it clear that the criticism wasn’t exactly welcome.
Examples:
- “Your home decor is too plain.”
“I didn’t realize we were accepting unsolicited critiques today.” - “That joke wasn’t funny.”
“I didn’t realize we were accepting unsolicited critiques today.” - “Your handwriting is awful.”
“I didn’t realize we were accepting unsolicited critiques today.”
“Well, someone’s in a mood!”
Turn the tables and suggest that their criticism is more about their mood than your behavior.
Examples:
- “Your idea was the worst one in the meeting.”
“Well, someone’s in a mood!” - “You’re not really great at this, are you?”
“Well, someone’s in a mood!” - “That was a terrible joke.”
“Well, someone’s in a mood!”
“I’ll take your opinion under advisement and promptly ignore it.”
This witty comeback is perfect for when you want to acknowledge someone’s opinion without giving it any weight.
Examples:
- “You’re doing this all wrong.”
“I’ll take your opinion under advisement and promptly ignore it.” - “You should have handled that better.”
“I’ll take your opinion under advisement and promptly ignore it.” - “You’re never going to get it right at this rate.”
“I’ll take your opinion under advisement and promptly ignore it.”
“Did you mean to be that rude, or is it just a side effect?”
This response calls out the critic’s harshness, making them reconsider their words.
Examples:
- “Your ideas are pretty terrible.”
“Did you mean to be that rude, or is it just a side effect?” - “You don’t know what you’re doing, do you?”
“Did you mean to be that rude, or is it just a side effect?” - “That was a weak effort.”
“Did you mean to be that rude, or is it just a side effect?”
“Ah, constructive criticism disguised as an insult. Classic.”
This one shows that you’re onto their tactics and won’t be swayed by them.
Examples:
- “You really bombed that presentation.”
“Ah, constructive criticism disguised as an insult. Classic.” - “Your cooking is getting worse.”
“Ah, constructive criticism disguised as an insult. Classic.” - “You’re too emotional.”
“Ah, constructive criticism disguised as an insult. Classic.”
“I’m going to treat that comment with the respect it deserves—which is none.”
This witty retort dismisses the criticism entirely, showing you’re not going to let it bother you.
Examples:
- “You’re completely wrong.”
“I’m going to treat that comment with the respect it deserves—which is none.” - “That was a pointless attempt.”
“I’m going to treat that comment with the respect it deserves—which is none.” - “You’re clearly out of your league.”
“I’m going to treat that comment with the respect it deserves—which is none.”
“And yet, here I am, still thriving.”
This confident comeback is ideal for those who try to belittle your efforts.
Examples:
- “You really could’ve done better.”
“And yet, here I am, still thriving.” - “You’re not good enough to be here.”
“And yet, here I am, still thriving.” - “You’ll never succeed at this rate.”
“And yet, here I am, still thriving.”
“If I cared any less, I’d be asleep right now.”
Show how little their criticism affects you with this snarky remark.
Examples:
- “You’re wasting your time with this.”
“If I cared any less, I’d be asleep right now.” - “Your ideas are too risky.”
“If I cared any less, I’d be asleep right now.” - “That was a weak argument.”
“If I cared any less, I’d be asleep right now.”
“You must be really fun at parties.”
This one shifts the focus to their attitude, implying they’re the buzzkill, not you.
Examples:
- “Why are you even trying?”
“You must be really fun at parties.” - “That plan will never work.”
“You must be really fun at parties.” - “You always mess things up.”
“You must be really fun at parties.”
“I’ll be sure to lose sleep over that tonight.”
Sarcasm at its finest, this retort shows just how little the criticism matters.
Examples:
- “You’re not cut out for this.”
“I’ll be sure to lose sleep over that tonight.” - “That was a mistake.”
“I’ll be sure to lose sleep over that tonight.” - “You need to learn to do better.”
“I’ll be sure to lose sleep over that tonight.”
“You know, opinions are like belly buttons—everyone’s got one.”
This response playfully highlights how common, and often unnecessary, opinions can be.
Examples:
- “You’re doing it wrong.”
“You know, opinions are like belly buttons—everyone’s got one.” - “That idea is terrible.”
“You know, opinions are like belly buttons—everyone’s got one.” - “You could have done that faster.”
“You know, opinions are like belly buttons—everyone’s got one.”
“I didn’t realize I ordered a side of criticism.”
This witty comeback is a humorous way to remind the critic you didn’t ask for their opinion.
Examples:
- “That outfit isn’t working.”
“I didn’t realize I ordered a side of criticism.” - “You should really be more careful.”
“I didn’t realize I ordered a side of criticism.” - “You’re doing that wrong.”
“I didn’t realize I ordered a side of criticism.”
“Interesting… Tell me more about how perfect you are.”
This comeback flips the focus, implying that the critic thinks they’re above reproach.
Examples:
- “You always make mistakes.”
“Interesting… Tell me more about how perfect you are.” - “Your work is never up to par.”
“Interesting… Tell me more about how perfect you are.” - “You’re always late.”
“Interesting… Tell me more about how perfect you are.”
“I’m sorry, did you mean to be this petty?”
A biting retort that makes the critic think twice about their motives.
Examples:
- “You never get things right.”
“I’m sorry, did you mean to be this petty?” - “Your presentation was a mess.”
“I’m sorry, did you mean to be this petty?” - “That was a terrible idea.”
“I’m sorry, did you mean to be this petty?”
“If only I cared enough to improve!”
This cheeky response shows that you’re not overly concerned with their opinion.
Examples:
- “You really need to work on your skills.”
“If only I cared enough to improve!” - “That was a poor effort.”
“If only I cared enough to improve!” - “Your project wasn’t up to the mark.”
“If only I cared enough to improve!”
“I’ll work on that… in my spare time.”
A sarcastic way of saying that their criticism isn’t exactly a priority for you.
Examples:
- “You need to get better at this.”
“I’ll work on that… in my spare time.” - “That could have been done better.”
“I’ll work on that… in my spare time.” - “Your ideas are too risky.”
“I’ll work on that… in my spare time.”
“I’ll just add that to my list of things I don’t care about.”
This is a humorous way to brush off their criticism and show just how little it affects you.
Examples:
- “Your plan is bound to fail.”
“I’ll just add that to my list of things I don’t care about.” - “You’re doing this wrong.”
“I’ll just add that to my list of things I don’t care about.” - “That’s never going to work.”
“I’ll just add that to my list of things I don’t care about.”
“I see you’ve mistaken me for someone who values your opinion.”
This response lets the critic know that their opinion doesn’t carry much weight with you.
Examples:
- “Your approach is all wrong.”
“I see you’ve mistaken me for someone who values your opinion.” - “You should’ve done better.”
“I see you’ve mistaken me for someone who values your opinion.” - “You’re not very good at this.”
“I see you’ve mistaken me for someone who values your opinion.”
“Do you always offer opinions, or just when no one asks?”
This quip highlights that their criticism was not requested or needed.
Examples:
- “That project didn’t go well.”
“Do you always offer opinions, or just when no one asks?” - “You really should’ve done that differently.”
“Do you always offer opinions, or just when no one asks?” - “You’re making a mistake.”
“Do you always offer opinions, or just when no one asks?”
Conclusion
There you have it—witty responses that are sure to leave any critic speechless. The next time someone tries to knock you down, you’ll be ready to fire back with humor, confidence, and style. Just remember, that criticism is inevitable, but how you handle it is up to you. With these comebacks, you’ll turn any critical situation into a moment of triumph!
𝐈’𝐦 Ella Rose 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 “𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 ” 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐨𝐫. 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬. 𝐈 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐮𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞. 𝐀𝐭 “𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬” 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬. 𝐃𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐝𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐨𝐫.
Poppy Snow